hands down, im too proud for love

sitting in the huge middle room on the second floor. 4 different groups are here. we were blasting nicki minaj, and all of the sudden everyone started rapping along. this is what happens at 6am in the library. “that was a good group moment right then” hahahah

i hate waking up and realizing it was only a dream, especially if something youve been thinking about a lot actually happened in the dream. i woke up from my nap, wondering why i was in such a weird sad mood. then i realized that it was back to reality and nothing’s changed. silly me.

you have my trust. i cant believe it took so long for me to realize that you’re a good person.

• i had a nice dinner/last night in rva before the break
• i havent packed
• bojangling like no other right now
• WHAT AM I DOING
• this was pointless, but again, im bojanglin. hahaah
• I CANT WAIT TO SEE EVERYONE AT HOME. hollaaaa.
• :)

i dont think im gonna wake up in time to register for classes so im just not gonna sleep. THIS HAPPENS EVERYYTIME I REGISTER. aahh. oh well. at least i always got the classes i wanted in the past. i’d be done at literally 8:01am, lol. too bad registration really crept up on me this time around.. -_- haha

i dont know how i feel other than tired and i dont want to think about anythingg. bleh. in that ‘fuck it’ mood. plan: figure out schedule for next semester. sleep. wake up before 8 to register. class. sleep again. exciiting. i dont even know why vcu still has classes this week, let us go homeeee. lol

MUST STAY AWAKE to study for my exam. too bad all im doing up is stress eating.. -_-

made appetizers? check.

cleaned bathroom/apt? check.

jell-o shots? check.

made playlist? not yet.

picked a dress? nope.

tonight is coming soooon. I CANT EVEN DRINK TONIGHT. i avoided taking my cough medicine all day but gilline finally made me take it 10 minutes ago because she “doesnt want me to die” and im not allowed to have alcohol with it. nooooooo. hopefully im not the only one sober tonight. oh wellll. im excited to see old friends and mingle.

random dude starts hitting on me in dollar tree.
the cashier lady was like “be careful” to me when i was still inside/when he left.
he was waiting for me outside. tried to get to my bike, and he
asked if i had a facebook or a way he could keep in contact. REALLY? thoroughly creeeped out. thank you richmond. -_-

people WOULD try to text me the one night i forget to delete my inbox yet again. i received texts all morning from last night. so bad. someone smack me. also. usually i would be sleeping in because on thursdays my only class is at 3pm but i has an advisor meeting at 10 to figure out my schedule for next semester (eng 200? yay -_-) and its my friend marian’s birthday lunch. :) hooray. all of this, get through my exam, grab some buy one get one free starbucks.. and hopefully i can enjoy tonight.

yes that is my game plan. haha

edit// also. this is my 500th post. and i dont know why ive been writing actual text entries lately. lol

• i have a forensic sci exam tomorrow in which i should be studying for. i am surprisingly chill & calm right now.
• IM ACTUALLY AT MY APARTMENT. (mostly because im still sick)
• instead of thinking of my exam, im thinking of wiz khalifa. hes at the National tonight! i missed him twice damnnn.
• for someone who is wants to be an optometrist, i dont take good enough care of my eyes :/
• im slowly recovering yaayyyay
• i have a lot of clothes (shirts, scarves, etc) ive borrowed from friends that i need to return soon. so sorrry :(
• the grass only seems greener on the other side. im happy with who i am and where i am right now.

i wouldnt mind staying home sick if i were home-home. I WISH I WERE :( then my mom could take care of me and i wouldnt have to worry about anything. i havent gone to class except for my quiz this morning. i shouldnt even be going to class -or anywhere in that case- because its rainy and my body hurts and im not feeling any better. sighhh. im so restless. i need to get better asap so i can live my life again, lol. i hate that i cant speed up the process of getting better but maybe thats a sign i should be patient and let my body get the rest it needs.

let go. its better for you.

so sick and out of everything lately. i wishhh i would get better but its not happening anytime soon it seems :/

edit: i need to write something down.

i feel like ive been awake for so long. my body hurts so much. my head is in such a mess. its been clouded since i got worse this weekend. im so sick i dontknow what to do with myself. i was going to go back to nova tomorrow ; my parents wanted me to go back because this morning til tonight i was coughing my lungs out, unable to breathe at some points.  yes i ended up crying because a part of me did want to go home. i miss being taken care of when im sick. i just cant recover when im lying there alone. but i didnt want them to drive down here and pick me up .and i dont know. im stubborn and think i can fight through this illness. but i should listen to everyone. i just need to give my body what it needs and deserves. rest. and lots of it. ive been spinning around in circles when i should be laying down and sleeping. gosh. i dont even know. my body hurts though and i would love to sleep forever right now. i just dont have the time. its sad, i dont even have time to get better or take care of myself. where are my priorities.

i have this bad feeling that karma is gonna hit me really hard soon.

im feeling so sick. last night, woke up at 6 or 7am randomly and couldnt stop coughing. biked home from the lib tonight. probably the worst bike ride of my life. couldnt breathe and i was paranoid as anything because i keep thinking about how richmond is like #5on the list of top cities for murders and crime (read that on someone’s facebook). ughhh i dont know. ive been so tired lately. ive been missing home kind of. life in richmond(or at school) is so fast paced . it feels like im rushing through work, friends and life. i want to take things slow but i cant seem to

ng0wayyy:

I feel like I have been clensed of everything bad. This semester has been a roller coaster, it had it’s ups and downs…mostly downs but this morning I feel clensed, maybe it was just the gym workout from last night haha. Just looking forward to this weekend spendin time with my family. And possibly other festivities goin on Saturday night.

I found out how to do somethin cool on facebook. So theres people who annoy me with stupid posts or who post a lot and I don’t really care about what they have to say. So now I can just block their posts with a click of a button, puhahahaha, this is made me feel happy this morning :) 

THIS IS HOW I FEEL. ive been abusing the block button, hahah. seriously some people need to hop off my newsfeed.

being a girl is silly. whyy:(